As I write this, I am an ovarian cancer survivor of five and a half years. I only have two fur babies, and countless nieces, nephews, cousins and godchildren that I love to the ends of the earth. I have decided that has been exactly what I needed. I married my husband, Dan, in June 2011. We both knew we had a desire to have children, and almost immediately I went off birth control. Then we waited and kept waiting. Then waited some more, and when it was recommended, we sought out fertility help. RELATED: 6 Common Questions About Ovarian Cancer, Answered

Strange Symptoms and Screenings

We had so much hope that it would work out for us like it does for so many others. Along the way I continued to have my yearly ob-gyn appointments. During one visit I mentioned that I had recently been experiencing some pain in one of my sides and that I had done a colonoscopy, but no issues were found. I also mentioned that I had been doing chiropractic adjustments and that seemed to be helping. During that conversation we also discussed that I been diagnosed with irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) years before but never had official testing or any diet recommendations made. This conversation led to a vaginal ultrasound. During that exam it was discovered that I had a dermoid cyst on my right ovary. It was not very big but potentially could have been contributing to the discomfort I was having. It was recommended we check that cyst again each year and there would only be cause for concern if we saw any growth. The next year my insurance changed, and I moved to a different area, so I found a new ob-gyn. I shared my past info with her, and she also did a vaginal ultrasound. No changes were found, and they sent me on my way. At this point I had been off birth control for almost three years. She suggested we see a fertility specialist, but we were still hopeful we could do this ourselves. RELATED: 6 Empowering Breast and Gynecological Cancer Podcasts Hosted by Survivors

Pregnancy Loss and Miscarriage

A few months later, I became pregnant. It was a miracle it seemed because for so long nothing had happened. We shared with our close family and a handful of friends. As I headed into my Week 12 check-in, I told Dan that something felt off and I was worried. I will never forget that Friday as I went in. We saw another couple at the doctor’s office who we knew was also pregnant at the time. I did not know them well, but I remember thinking, “Wouldn’t it be great to get to know them as we experience this together; our husbands were already friends.” But I left that office different than I went in. When we did the ultrasound, there was no longer a heartbeat. We were devastated. That weekend we were supposed to be at a thirtieth surprise party and had tickets to a show, but instead I experienced one of the worst things in my life. I had a miscarriage. By the time we got to Monday when my D&C (surgery to remove tissue after miscarriage) was scheduled, my body had already done what it needed to do. RELATED: Fertility and Fertility Awareness Resource Center

Nine months later, I went in for my annual exam and my vaginal ultrasound to check my dermoid cyst. Still no changes in the cyst and again a recommendation for a fertility specialist. I buried my self-doubt and disappointment at not being able to have a child on my own, and went to meet Dr. T., a fertility specialist. His optimism and experience in the field were a breath of fresh air. I was mad at myself for not going to him sooner. His first plan of action was to tackle that dermoid cyst and remove it. He felt our chances of successfully getting pregnant would be better without it in our way. A few weeks later I went in to get the all-clear to proceed with fertility treatments and was instead informed that I had stage 1 granulosa cell tumor (GCT) ovarian cancer. The cancerous tumor had been hiding behind my dermoid cysts, and there had been no way to know until it was removed. I was in shock and immediately thought, “but I get PAP smears every year and we have been monitoring this cyst for four years now with no changes.”

A Lack of Screening Modalities

My frequent PAP smears did not matter, because a PAP test does not detect ovarian cancer, it detects cervical cancer — it’s not the same thing. There is no maintenance test for ovarian cancer, there are only blood tests and those are only administered if you have a visible tumor or are high risk for ovarian cancer. I didn’t have a high risk that we knew of, and I never had a visible tumor, just the cyst. I had never been checked for ovarian cancer. Dermoid cysts are fairly common and typically not a concern for most people, but in my case, it was hiding something worse. Ultimately, I was diagnosed with stage 3A and had to endure chemotherapy. RELATED: With Ovarian Cancer, Early Detection Is Key. Why Is It So Hard?

Trying to Preserve Fertility Before Treatment

Before starting chemo, we did a fast-paced fertility IVF process to work to save eggs for use after treatment. Unfortunately, none of my eggs survived the process and I went into chemo knowing I may never be a mom. But I also went into chemo knowing that Dr. T. had saved my life. At the time, we were heartbroken. Our plan had always been kids and here we were, fighting for my life and knowing we may never have children of our own. That was just six years ago, and so much has changed. We have accepted that we will not have children of our own and have decided to live life just the two of us. We hug our three nieces a bit harder sometimes and have embraced being everyone’s aunt and uncle, as long as they will have us.