After a year of being on the front lines treating patients during the global pandemic, coping with national social unrest, and caring for a newborn at home, she wants you to know that she’s not Superwoman. She has a support system. And while she says it’s hard to ask for help, it’s also what’s getting her through. “My mom’s here helping me with my kids; I have an amazing live-in nanny. I have supportive friends. I have a husband who is pushing me to pursue my dreams,” Dr. Clayborne says. “I wouldn’t be able to do any of the things that I’m doing without them.” Moms have so many plates to keep spinning. It’s unrealistic to think they can handle it all without help. If 2020 taught Clayborne anything, she says it’s to speak up and ask for help when you need it. RELATED: Self-Care During COVID-19: How It Started, How It’s Going
2020 Has Been a Tough Year
Like so many of us, Clayborne hoped we had seen the peak of the global pandemic last spring and summer. But winter of 2020–2021 had something else in store. “A lot of healthcare workers were hoping that we were going to get some reprieve, especially knowing that the vaccine was starting to roll out,” Clayborne says. “But unfortunately in several areas, including Maryland [where she lives and works], that has not been the case.” Healthcare workers were starting to burnout, she says. “We’ve been running a marathon over the last year. We thought we were close to the end, but we are not there yet. Instead, the finish line keeps getting moved.” Clayborne and her coworkers certainly aren’t alone. According to a national survey of emergency medical technicians, nurses, doctors, therapists, and other healthcare workers conducted by Mental Health America between June and September of 2020, 93 percent reported feeling stressed, 76 percent reported burnout, and 75 percent said they were overwhelmed. RELATED: How Mindfulness Can Help Healthcare Workers Cope With Stress During the COVID-19 Pandemic Clayborne says the social unrest and sweeping Black Lives Matter protests that started last summer and have continued have been a challenge to cope with, too. “We’re going through what I consider to be a very important change, and at least a shift, in the attention of our country on issues that have been long-standing and not brought to the forefront as they should be,” she says. “It touches every Black person, every minority, and probably every American in a profound way.” It’s emotionally draining to hear reports of racially charged violence in news cycle after news cycle, Clayborne says. But she knows her presence in the ER is important; she sees relief on her patients’ faces when she shows up, she says. “As a Black female physician, I try to lead by example and be someone who shows up for my community.” RELATED: Black Americans Have Been Hit Hardest by COVID-19 — Here’s Why
Self-Care Is Asking for Help
Clayborne wants to remind other mothers, especially young mothers like her, that they don’t need to go at it alone. Turn to your support systems, whether that’s your spouse, friends, other family members, or community, she says. Mothers, especially young Black mothers, need to know they don’t need to be Superwoman. According to data from the U.S. Department of Labor, Black moms are more likely than white, Asian, and Hispanic moms to be working outside the home. And Black moms are more likely than moms of other races to be parenting alone, according to a Febuary 2021 report from the Brookings Institution. Clayborne says her support system at home has allowed her to make time for self-care. The following self-care measures are the ones that have helped her balance work life, home life, and the many, many emotions she’s been coping with since the start of the pandemic.
1. Disconnect From Work
When Clayborne gets home from work, she says she tries to disconnect as much as possible and embrace the time with her family. “Life is still amazing for [my kids]. They’re not aware that a pandemic is taking place, and it’s nice to come home and just live in the present and be in the space and energy of young children.”
2. Embrace a Passion
A second job or work endeavor might sound like an added burden to many, but Clayborne says it gives her a sense of purpose that’s motivating. She’s currently working on her start-up, Bleed Freeze (a medical device she’s helping develop to stop and treat nosebleeds). “I have been burning the candle at both ends, but I have been balancing my clinical hours by reducing the number of shifts that I have in the emergency department.” She explains that, despite its being time-consuming, launching a business has provided some balance to her work in the emergency department at her hospital, which is emotionally and physically taxing. “I’m still very busy — and probably sleep deprived — but I think that balance ensures that when I do show up in the ER, I can be my best self and be the best physician possible for the patients that I’m going to see that day.” Research shows that people who report having a strong sense of purpose tend to be more resilient and better able to cope with life’s challenges.
3. Exercise
Clayborne purchased a Peloton bike at the start of the pandemic to make exercise more convenient. Joining a live virtual class via the app (one where you’re riding at home in real-time with other class participants and the instructor) provides a sense of camaraderie and connection, too, she says. RELATED: Tips for Getting Back Into a Workout Routine if the Pandemic Disrupted Yours
4. Spend Time Outside
Now that the weather is beginning to warm up again, Clayborne says she is looking forward to being outdoors with her children. She says she is sensitive to cold temperatures and weather changes, so the summer sun feels like medicine to her. RELATED: Why the Sounds of Nature Are So Good for Health and Well-Being
5. Uphold an Optimistic Vision
Finally, Clayborne says embracing positivity has been important, especially when it comes to coping with racial injustice and a national reckoning with it. She says she tries to remain hopeful about the direction the country is going in. “I think overall, the momentum is in a positive direction, and I think that we’re forcing ourselves to look at questions that have been long-standing,” she says. “I’m excited about the attention being paid to these issues in hopes of making some substantial change.” Clayborne says thinking about her own family’s historical trajectory — from being enslaved people in North Carolina to being emancipated and heading to Indiana, where they owned a farm — helps, too. “I’ve been reflecting on that a lot, and it motivates me to continue bettering myself and my family, so that I can improve things within communities of color. I’m [my forebears’] wildest dreams,” she says.
